Three words: puerto rican gang bang
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
