Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
