I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
