Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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