Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Are we still banned from the library?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
