She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
