all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
