We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
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