I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
