And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
