somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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