shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
