it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
