can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he puts the penis in happiness.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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