I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
