This girl is more easily done than said...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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