just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
