I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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