He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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