What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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