I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
