At least make sure they are 18
Why
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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