I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
