You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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