Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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