What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
