marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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