I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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