Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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