All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
