Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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