After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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