her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
