we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize