I'm really into asian looking animals
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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