can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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