thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
