I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
