Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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