I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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