If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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