He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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