Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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