I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
its not stalking. its research.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
