Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's shark week go big or go home
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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