For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
