I accidentally had phone sex last night
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
