Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
