Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
But break dance skills will only take you so far
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
