Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
