walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
