just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
