you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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