No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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