Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
