At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You don't make any sense
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