I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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