At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
