is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
