of course. lets lasso hookers.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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