I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
