After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
